OFFERING OR VISIT? Reflections From An Open Air Cathedral
Ever since I can recall, I have had a strange relationship with water...any water. The ocean, a lake, river, rain, puddles...even a glass of water can affect me. I hold a great respect for the role she plays in our existence. Her beauty holds immense power and I have often found myself entranced, unable to look away on my own accord.
That being said I seem to get the most haunting feeling when my body is in water and I have never been sure as to why. There always seems to come a point when I get overwhelmed and need to get out. The best way I can describe what I sense is to say that I feel a presence. As my body enters into the water, I feel like every drop of that “presence” knows I am there and is absorbing my energy, my fears, my vulnerabilities...my sense of personal power is being altered. All of my senses are heightened.
“Will this be an offering of myself or just a visit?”
A seer once told me that I should deal with this state of mind I have so I decided to go out to the Washington coast and try body surfing. My son had a board I could use and I was able to rent a wetsuit from a local surf shop.
DANGER! WARNING RIP CURRENTS! NO LIFE GUARDS! NO SWIMMING!”
Large signs warning of possible disastrous fates were posted along the road as I headed down the beach. Surf report said 9-10’ today.
Entering the surf, I become aware of the rhythm of the water’s movements. The tide is coming in with criss crossing waves. Enjoying myself takes a certain amount of sustained focus, a meditation on finding that hypnotic balance of having my body move totally in synch with the rolling surface of the water. It’s a good place and I feel like I have some control...for a moment anyway. This is just one lesson before me.
As I watch the line up of waves rolling in, I can feel my heart beating in anticipation of launching myself to shore. The perfect one arrives. I let go of my inhibitions and allow it to take me as I shift my body from side to side along it's shoulder. Elementary yet exhilarating as I feel my body working with the forces of the water, dimming my awareness of feeling unsettled..
Since then I have bought my own gear and gone several more times. Each time I venture out further and play longer. Last time I got the hang of how far out I needed to be, where to catch the wave and how to turn left and right...the bare bone basics.
Each time I go, my ability to literally “go with the flow” expands. Sometimes I get a nice ride in, sometimes I get tossed around...one gives me a sense of pride, confidence and develops deep trust in my instincts, while the other helps to build my muscles, my resilience and my ability to accept and overcome obstacles. These experiences reach far into other aspects of my life, encouraging, my authentic self to rise and flex it's reach out to the world.
When we begin learning something new, the discomfort of our inexperience opens up the space for us to challenge aspects of who we think we are. This process beacons us to flex, to grow.
If we believe we are limited, growth is hindered.
If we believe we can learn, and challenge ourselves to do so...
We Become Limitless